OUR DEAR MOTHER

Lucila Lapus Lopez

1926 - 2003

Our Mother was born in town of Cabiao in the Philippines, part of a large close-knit family with a total of 12 children.  She taught herself to sew when she was 14 and made a successful career for herself as a seamstress, which gave her the opportunity to work on custom clothing for celebrities like Dolly Parton and Luther Vandross.

She got married at the age of 21 and had 3 sons while living in the Philippines; Jose, Hernando & myself.  Then with our father working for the Philippine Consulate, we were able to come to America.  We lived in San Francisco for 3 years where my sister Lory & brother Richard were born.

Then we moved to Los Angeles, where we all grew up.

Two months ago our Mother was diagnosed with cancer, which brought our family together to be at her side during surgery.  Complications from the surgery and spreading cancer required her to be admitted back to the hospital where she was in critical care for 3 weeks fighting to stay alive.

Her stay in the hospital gave our family the time to recollect what a wonderful and amazing Mother she was to us.

While we were growing up in L.A., our mother worked a full time job making wedding dresses, at times bringing both Lory & Richard with her to work.  She would come home to cook dinner and clean the house, and then would continue sewing at home, making custom clothing for her customers, relatives and friends.  Not to mention those special requests that Lory would make, asking her to sew an outfit for her to wear the next day.  She always made time for those special requests, often working well into the early morning.

Whenever any one of us kids got into trouble or mischief, she was always there to take the heat for us. 

Mom was always there for us when we were feeling our worst.

Richard remembered one time when he got into trouble and was punished.  He got so mad that he ran away from home.  But, being so young, the only place he knew where to go was around the block to the aquarium store.  Since I knew where he was, I drove Ma there.  When Ma showed up, she gave Richard the biggest hug while he cried in her arms.  Richard never ran away again and still lived with her till now.

Ma didn’t care for pets.  And when we looked back, it’s easy to see why.  We adopted stray dogs,  brought home a rabbit or reptiles from the pet store.  And who ended up cleaning up the mess the animals made? Good old mom!

Lory recalled a time when Ma was working on a wedding gown and had laid out the material, cut the pattern, and while she was out of the room for only a minute, she came back to find our adopted cat had done its business on the newly cut material.  Lory came home to find that Ma had trapped the cat under an empty aquarium.  This was one of many incidents that gave Ma plenty of reason for not allowing pets.  But, Ma never wanted to deprive us of anything we desired, so she put up with them.

It’s funny though, that she had recently become fond of Monette’s dog, a pug named Murphy.  He never gave her any trouble.

Ma wasn’t the type who would nag.  She would always ask kindly and taught us by example.

She was always willing to help relatives who had just arrived from the Philippines and were trying to get settled in America.  She would offer them a place to stay and warm meals.  This shows how important family was to her, and also shows her kindness and generosity.  She may not had a lot, but she was always willing to give.

Our mom was honest, strong in character and stayed true to what she believed in.  Ma experienced many traumatic times in her life.  She used to tell us how during WWII, she would help hide the American soldiers.  She described an incident where the Japanese soldiers used the butt of a rifle to smash her toes to try and make her give information on where the Americans were. She never gave them up.

1980 had to be the worst year for her.  She went to see her mom in the Philippines, who was in her 90’s and nearing death.  When she arrived, her mom had already passed away.  She was then informed that our eldest brother, Lito, died from liver complications resulting from an auto accident.  She had to get on the next plane home for his funeral.  Unfortunately she wasn’t able to see either her mom or son alive before they met their fate.

Our parents divorced several years ago, but she always reminded us to call our dad and wish him a happy birthday or happy father’s day and invite him to our family events.

Ma took a lot of pride in the fact that her children were very close, got along well together, and had nothing but love, respect, and affection for her.

Roses were Ma’s favorite flowers.  She truly had a Green Thumb, any plants would thrive under her care. 

She loved to watch her soap operas.  Her favorite was “All My Children” and she got some of us hooked on watching too.

Ma was always lucky in playing lotto and loved slot machines.  Richard and Ma were always talking about planning a trip to Vegas or Pechanga, so she could bring home the Big Jackpot and share her winnings with all the family.

Ma was also a wonderful Grandmother.  She was always there for them with her strong love.  There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for them.

She was also a caring Mother-In-Law that always came across, much more like a mother figure.  She showed them just as much love and affection, as she did for us. 

My wife, Julia, often said how fortunate she was to have a mother-in-law that can accept her for who she was.  One of Julia’s most memorable moments was having breakfast with Ma and listening to her talked about her life in Philippines, her admirers, relationship and outlook of life.  It was a moment of ease and closeness.  Julia felt the urge to give Ma a hug and tell her how much she appreciated this moment, and how much she loved her, but because of her awkwardness in showing emotion, she never did, and that’s a regret she’ll always carry with her.

Ma was religious and a devoted Catholic.  She enjoyed a recent trip with Ernie & Monette to the new “Cathedral of Our Lady of Angels”  where they listened to Cardinal Roger Mahoney’s sermon.   She received the Anointment for the sick before her surgery and was visited by the priest while in the hospital to receive communion.

I’ve been fortunate these past few years that Ma lived in Lake Forest close to my office in Irvine.  I had standing lunch reservations for excellent Filipino cuisine.

When I had meetings in L.A., she was my best car pool companion.  She enjoyed this time during my meetings to visit her relatives.

To celebrate one of my birthdays, she invited all of my coworkers over for lunch. She made the best leche flan, adobo, lumpia, pansit, and other delicious Filipino dishes.  Ma took pleasure in cooking for the family and friends, mostly because she loved seeing everyone get together, having a good time.  Her cooking will be terribly missed. 

As much as we all will miss her, we’re relieved to know that she is at peace, instead of tormented by cancer.

We’ll miss you Ma, we truly love you so much…….

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